Frank, engaged discussion among young black men about the male sexuality, self-respect, young fatherhood and abstinence took place at a community college – a setting usually known for science, math and communications. “What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You,” was a workshop targeting young African American men that focused on mental and emotional well-being. It is a collaborative effort between Better Family Life, Inc. (BFL), the Florissant Valley Community College African American Male Initiative and the St. Louis County Health Department.
The approach, a “Your Health is Your Wealth,” BFL initiative started two years ago encourages more African American men and men of color in St. Louis County to utilize County health facilities.
“We have been able to inform people who didn’t even know that St. Louis County had health facilities,” said DeBorah Ahmed, BFL vice president of cultural programs. “The health care they provide at these facilities are high quality and affordable.”
“It started with us trying to make a decisions about what young black males needed and what I was seeing in the County ? a tremendous problem with broken families, lack of leadership, STD problems, and in later life, leading to disparate outcomes –diabetes, hypertension and heart disease,” said Dr. Michael Railey, director of research and medical services for the St. Louis County Health Department.
“We are trying to help young black men get the things that they were missing if they were not properly mentored.”
Railey spoke with the young men about commitment and male sexuality, and asked situational questions that were more telling about what was inside of the men than the posed scenario.
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“What happens if you are with a woman and she develops multiple sclerosis? What is your response? What is the responsibility when you make a commitment to a woman? How do you stop from straying?” Railey asked.
Social worker Tyree Miller talked to the young men about dysfunctional living and how comfort in the dysfunction can make what is unacceptable seem acceptable and steps necessary to recover from a toxic past. Miller also talked about how behaviors that affect others negatively lead to a state called “free-floating anxiety” ? the back of your mind – you feel like something is going to happen. That pressure follows you and feels like it is always lurking around the corner.
“And then when something does, you say, ‘I knew it was going to happen.’ Free-floating anxiety is pretty much a result of your conscious whooping the daylights out of you because of all the mess you have done to other people,” Miller said. “A lot of mental energy is being spent scheming.”
Miller’s message: scheming is always selfishness ? trying to see what you can get out of others, and part of the dysfunction is that you are so into yourself; you lose sight of how your actions affect others.
“When we mistreat people, it’s a matter of time before it comes back,” Miller said. “Part of the dysfunction is not being able to see ourselves as we truly are. You really believe your hype.
What does a dysfunctional lifestyle eventually end in? Ultimately it ends in a loss... your money, your health, your personal lifestyle and you lose relationships,” Miller said. “And you lose time…you know what I mean when I say you lose time? You’re in the joint.”
James Clark, vice president of community outreach at Better Family Life, talked about black male responsibility and identified behaviors that are destructive to their lives, their families and their neighborhoods, and ways to turn it around.
“When young African American boys base their manhood on being a physical threat ? ‘I’ll beat you up,’ ‘I’ll rob you,’ ? based on being intimidating or violent ? that’s very destructive. When they base their manhood on how many ladies they can be sexually active with ? that’s self-destructive. When they base their manhood on how much street credibility they have, that’s self-destructive,” he said. “What we try to do is give them healthy outcomes, meaning you base your manhood on your relationship with God, on your relationship with family, on your education and on being employed.”
Florissant Valley communication arts major Naheem Houston attended the workshop and called it “food for the spirit.”
“Everybody is here for a purpose. What I took from it is encouragement and sticking closer to our faith, spirituality and education. Be in spiritual accord with God and no matter what, you can live out your dreams ? anything is possible Houston said.
“It’s not where you stay or your environment ? don’t let it dictate who you are as a person.”
Resources:http://www.stlamerican.com/
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